Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
