in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
