there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
