We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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