it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize