Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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