whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
