it wasn't lemon gatorade
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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