He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
