He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
