I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
