YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
