Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
