haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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