I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
