Are we in a gay sports bar?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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