I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
