im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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