I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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