It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
