Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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