I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
