Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
