just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
