hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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