you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize