We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
