just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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