Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
