Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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