ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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