I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
why is half of my head shaved?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
