hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
