I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
