Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
