i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
