I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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