11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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