True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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