I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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