Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
