I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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