You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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