Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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