What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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