I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize