I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How external is "for external use only"?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
