I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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