haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
