so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
