Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
