im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
