Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
