We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Farmville is her only friend.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
