the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
