Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My vagina is very pro this idea
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
