I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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