im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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