Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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