Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
