We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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