please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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