The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
did i walk over a car last night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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